Starting Over

“He will wipe every tear from their eyes.  There will be no more death or morning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away” … He said to me:  “It is done.  I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End …” (Revelation 21:4, 6)

The journey of “mourning” someone or something is a journey we have all taken at some point in life.  Whether it was mourning the loss of a loved one or our favorite prized possession we have all walked down that path of sadness, anger, tears, joy and maybe even laughter.

I have decided that one of the crazy things about “mourning” is that even when we think we have completed the journey, God sends us a reminder and we jump back on the path and not always in the same spot.

The other night I was working as a tech on the floor and we had a new patient being admitted.  It was around 1 am and I walked into the room to greet my patient and get her settled into her room.  She was an elderly petite lady with the sweetest demeanor considering she was in the hospital at that hour.  As I greeted her, the sound of her voice sounded familiar.  I realized as I walked out of the room to check on another patient, her voice was the mirror of my Great Aunt Gladys.  This of course made me smile and then I smiled again because it also reminded me of my Grandma Leona.   Living in Iowa and my Grandma being in Colorado, I saw her once a summer. Once I became an adult and moved to Colorado, I tried to see her more often.  My Grandmother passed in 1999, but when I think about her I smile as we had many wonderful times together and I am thankful for the laughter and memories we created and will forever share.

As always, God does some amazing and interesting things as this patient didn’t just remind me of my family, she reminded me of where I am from.  I was born in a small town called Bloomfield, Iowa.  It is a small town on the Iowa/Missouri border.  Not many people know where this small town is, but she did.  Her parents ran off to that small Iowa town in 1917 to get married.  WOW!!  What a small world!!

I would have loved to have visited with her all night long as she shared beautiful stories about her own life every time I checked on her.  I am thankful I was on that unit that night and I was Blessed with the opportunity to be reminded of beauty in my own life.

I am particularly thankful because today prior to sitting down to write this,  I was having one of those frustrating days, a day where not everything I tried to do went as planned and I was trying too hard to make some things perfect.  I was caught in a moment of remembering things from my past … people I’ve lost … possessions I no longer have … comparing my life to those around me … how I am now in my upper 30’s and back out on my own “Starting Over” again … and so many others (younger and older) appear to have it all together … the career path … the significant others and family surrounding them … possessions they dream of … everything they could possibly want or need.  As I was sharing how I was feeling with a friend, she looked at me and said, “Your life is what you make it.  Don’t compare yourself to others, just because they have all sorts of things, doesn’t mean that everything in their life is going ok.”  She continued on, “sometimes the most beautiful and perfect moments are those when we just “be” and stop trying so hard …”

Thank God for friends!!!  I needed to hear that honest fact and her timing couldn’t have been any better.  I was also reminded of the question from the most recent Sunday to Monday … “If all of your physical possessions were destroyed today could you pray a prayer of thanks that your ultimate treasure of relationships with others and with your Creator remained intact?”

While I will be honest and say I would mourn a loss of life as I knew it, I would be thankful for those I have surrounding me.  Even though we are separated by the miles, I have a loving family … I have a beautiful and wonderful family at God’s Grace … and many friendships that are being cultivated as I write this … I have my health and loved ones around me … I am truly Blessed!!

A very dear and amazing friend of mine lost her mother the end of August.  While her family and friends mourn her loss, she left us here on earth with the special gift of herself … even up to the end.  She wrote this in her journal … “Do you not see how everything that happens keeps on being a beginning? And could it not be God’s beginning since beginning is always in itself so beautiful?” (Sachi Boyer)

I think she was right, that beginnings or “starting over” have beauty all their own.  May you find beauty in all that you do and see … for beauty isn’t always in possessions, it’s in those that cross your path and the daily journey you take.

Dear Lord in Heaven, I come to you as humbly as I know how.  I confess my sins, those known and unknown.   Lord, you know I am not perfect and I fall short every day of my life but I want to take time out to say Thank You for your Mercy.  Thank You for my health, my family and my friends, the roof over my head, food on my table and everything I have.  In Jesus name, Amen.                                                                           (Prayer taken from www.lifelovequotesandsayings.com)

April Schauer

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